3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
