I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
