thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
