I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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