You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
