alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
