Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
