I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
