i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
