im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
