doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
