well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
