I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
