I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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