I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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