I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
