drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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