Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize