He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
