it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
sex in a hospital.. check
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
