I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
