what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
