She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
