these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
