i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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