The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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