Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
