dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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