Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I skipped work to stalk him.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it was like eating out sand paper
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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