is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
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he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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