whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
