I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
