if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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