I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
