He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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