There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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