so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
