would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
