yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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