dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
