She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
