I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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