You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And then my night got REAL pukey
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