You really coming over, don't trick.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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