my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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