Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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