May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
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I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
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I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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