can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize