Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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