Soap is not a condiment
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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