He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
