I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
