I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
