He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
did you just send me my own nude
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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