So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I deserve this hangover.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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