ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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