well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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