sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
