they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
