And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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