I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i think my cat just said my name.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
there is another microwave in the elevator.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
