I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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