My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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